The beautiful contrabandista lately arrested with five confederates near Deming, New Mexico.
How Marie Played a Romantic Trick on Her Lover and Brought Him to Time
A Vegetarian's Fancy.
How a Reading, PA., merchant, broke open his wife’s charmer and discovered a supposed lover to be a harmless female cousin.
Perilous Situation of a Skating Party on the Ohio River Near Zanesville, Ohio.
Patients serenading the village doctor.
So this is your birthday again. Well, bless my soul! Columbia, you will be as tall as your father soon.
"Who wants to pway me a couple of wattling stwong games?"
Boston detectives arrest two stylishly-dressed women while in the act of the shoplifting game.
Jolly sport among the giddy Vassar girls, fun in the forecastle, and a lonely New Year’s Eve on the desolate prarie.
Fifteen charming chippies make Rome howl while voyaging to New Orleans, Louisiana.
New York City, -- The Steamboat Riverdale blown up, August 28th – Rescuing the passengers.
A wooden Dutchman, rather than no man at all, was what a sensible spinster argued when some practical jokers under took to scare her in Oakland, Cal.
William Leland, of Buffalo, N. Y., takes a pleasurable dive over the Horseshoe Falls and still lives to be written up.
Miss Sallie Utterback, of Shoals, Near Vincennes, Indiana, knocks out a man with a waggin’ tongue.
The only absolutely pure and full weight desiccated cocoanut manufactured in this country.
Satan's sure-ruin traps - half-dime novels, five and ten cent story papers, and low-priced pamphlets for boys and girls.
Some of Uncle Sam’s land and water police have a genial shindy among themselves at the Navy Yard, Brooklyn, N. Y.
A desperate week-long challenge battle between Georgia and Arkansas cocks won by F. E. Grist's champion, Richard K Fox.
Westchester County is all agog over the case of the Rev. Mr. White, accused of violently assaulting the sister-in-law of a brother clergyman. We illustrate the scene.
A gang of female rogues, of the East Side, New York, work a little racket of their own.
The Story-teller in the Wheel-house of the "Belle Memphis"
How a too presumptuous shoe dealer’s attention to a female customer was resented by her male escort.
Yachting.
While New York is by no means the hottest city in the country, there have been a few days during the present season when the temperature reached a height altogether incompatible with human comfort.
Bayonets and Knives—A Sister’s Influence and Prevention of Murder.
Downed by Kindness After defying a host of armed keepers, James Driscoll, in the Trenton, N. J. State prison succumbs to a gentle word.
Alleged cancan dance indulged in by young male and female swells at Jamestown, New York.
A Fire in the Chicago Opera House creates a stampede among pretty actresses who rush to the street dishabille.
North Carolina - An Illicit Whiskey Still in the Mountains Surprised by Revenue Officers.

A wooden Dutchman, rather than no man at all,
Was what a sensible spinster argued when some practical jokers under took to scare her in Oakland, Cal. [more]
Probably the most pathetic incident since the war occurred in Oakland the other day, and it is still agitating the higher circles of that locality to their inner depths. It appears that on Jackson street resides an old maid—a very old maid—who puts in all the time she can spare from the supervision of other people’s affairs to searching for burglars. In fact, the latter occupation may be said to be her hobby.
For the last twenty-five years Miss Goobey has never retired without first industriously “shooing” under each and every bed for the purpose of expelling any burglariosly inclined person who might be thus secreted.
The other day a bold, bad man, who happened to be temporarily staying at the Goobey residence, concocted a dreadful practical joke. By the assistance of some of his dissolute companions, he stole a life-sized wooden Dutchman form the front of a cigar store, and placed it under the chaste couch of the mature Diana in question.
The conspirators waited on the landing when Miss Goobey locked the door that night expecting a domestic earthquake to be started as soon as the bogus burglar was sighted. They waited unsuccessfully for an hour. Was it possible Miss G. had neglected her invariable custom of looking under the bed? No, the idea was preposterous. They still lingered for the volcano to begin, throwing up screams, convulsions, melted lava and hair pins.
Silence.
Another hour passed by.
At last the well-known sound of Miss Goobey’s high soprano snore sounded faintly through the door, and impelled by ungovernable suspense and curiosity, the watchers climbed up and peeped though the transom.
There were two figures in the bed.The wooden man had been carefully lifted into the couch and covered up with its head on Miss G’s off pillow. While one thin arm over his manly red-wood chest, and with one saffron cheek pressed against the irresponsive shoulder, Miss Goobey slept in contented sleep of one who had reached bedrock at last.
She was making believe, poor thing!
Reprinted from National Police Gazette, December 17, 1881.


