“It’s English, You Know!”

How a young idiot at Harvard University tried, but failed, to imitate a Hoxford wine party.  [more]

One of the most absurd instances of ignorant aping of English customs on record comes from Harvard, where an ambitions student sent out invitations to a “wine,” having heard, it is supposed, that such festivities were the proper thing at English universities, and regaled his guest solely and uniquely upon iced sherry! Certain comments, however, were brought to his knowledge which seem to have awakened in his breast a doubt whether he had compassed the heights of the possibilities open to him in this line, and once more he issued cards for a “wine.” Thirty guests assembled, and on this occasion, the cheer consisted entirely of brandy. Determined to do his full duty as a host at all hazards, the ambitious student began with great deliberation drinking with each guest separately. So far below the nobility of his intentions, however, was the strength of his wits, that before he got halve way round the circle he so far confused his “wine” with a torchlight procession that he poured a glass of brandy upon his hair and set it on fire! The party at once resolved itself into an amateur fire brigade, with some difficulty extinguished the host, put him to bed and sent for a doctor. The incident, despite its brilliant nature and the originality it displayed, cast a gloom over the festivities, and the company dispersed with very little regard to the order of going.

Reprinted from The National Police Gazette, November 9, 1886.